So the Austerity Dictionary (see here and under Twitter #austeridictionary) was amusing (I thought anyhow) and got a lot of views and comments.
In conjunction with Margaret Harrington (@curtainqueen) and Scotlyn Sabean(@AuntieDote) we are plotting
world domination a charitable initiative. More on this later but heres a thing
Many of the Austerity Dictionary entries lend themselves to graphical representation. So, as a prelude to our
reign of terror the charitable idea a wee competition…
For the Austerity Dictionary entries below, send me (firstname.lastname@example.org) a graphical illustration of the said entry. The three of us will then choose which we find most amusing/pertinent/impertinent and I will then host a competition on the blog for a crowdsourced winner for each. The winner will get nothing, but I will, on successful completion of this competition, give €100 to a charity of their choice.
1. Entering this you give up all copyright and ownership of the picture – this is to allow it to be used later if needed in whatever way we think is good and prope
2. Only pictures sent to my gmail above with a subject line Austerity Pictionary : <definition> will be deemed entered
3. The judges (us three) decisions are final, binding, and final.
4. Pictures should be sent as attachments, in jpeg or pdf format only, not to exceed 2mb.
5. Pictures can be b/w or colour, but each must have on the picture caption the austerity dictionary definition and hashtag #austeridictionaryas well as the three twitter handles (@AuntieDote @brianmlucey, @curtainqueen) the first to let people know what it is the latter to stroke our monstrous egos….
6. Entries must be received by midnight GMT Saturday 19th January 2013
Entries are sought for the following
Austerity: Cargo cult popular with European political elites
Bertied : to have people come up and give you bags of money and houses, for no favors asked. Believed a mythical state
Bondholder : synonym for fireproof.
Brownian motion: the movement of the eyebrows of an powerful tv presenter when presented w a Td talking shite
Budgetary Stance ; being stood against a wall while an “Anglo” of money is demanded from you
Clusterfeck (n): A policy decision that causes havoc in every department. Can be direct or indirect. Always catastrophic.
domestic consumption : Ireland as the auld sow eating her farrow
ECB (v) to repeat the mistakes of the 1930s in a belief that the 2010s are really the 1920s
Economist: hurler on ditch. Either found in Ivory Tower, or maximising DOOM! in private sector to sell book.
EconoMist…where the department of finance is lost
Fiscal adjustment (n): Emptying the pockets of the taxpayer by rotating through 180 degrees. Permanently.
Ghost Estate: Beyond the pale void we have been staring at so long it begins to look back
Goldmansachs : a form of alchemy where everything can in fact be monetized.
Green shoots of recovery. ; favoured diet of unicorns.
HSE (n,v, obscene) a curse or invectice “you’ve made a right HSE of it”, “you have HSE’d that up rightly”
Laffer Curve (n): Where taxation levels are so high that the worker squeals hysterically following sight of their payslip
Pillar Bank : that to which you are tied to be scourged by the Troika
Social Porknership : where union leaders in exchange for a lack of criticism land jobs on state boards
Summit: A place European leaders meet to plan a race to the bottom
Trade deficit : the realization you can’t get a bloody plumber because they are all In a mine in western Australia…
Troika. (v) to attempt to turn a group of people into Germans.
Zombie Bank: ghoulish unkillable horror creature that sucks the money from our childrens future